


Tales of the 2016 Pageant

by mirrorworldangel



Category: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)
Genre: Siegemas 2020, beauty pageant, how your questions would doom them all, kinky edition, more chaotic things are revealed, not even smoke's storytelling is reliable, oh Ace you curious boy, the reason why Tachanka is called the Lord
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:47:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28048722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirrorworldangel/pseuds/mirrorworldangel
Summary: Siegemas Day 13 2020:“This is not for holiday cheer. This is blackmail!”How the Kinky Christmas Dress-up Pageant came to be.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18
Collections: Siegemas_2020





	Tales of the 2016 Pageant

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on one of my ideas on my Spoken Rules list and when I saw the prompt I had to do it!!

T’was the early days of December, and the rarest time of the year, every operator of Rainbow 6 is inactive and cozying up for the season. With no training to do, nor missions to accomplish, 

Ace and Aruni are both huddled in a corner of the room, studying on the Spoken Rules handbook intently and attempting to trace back the incidents that happened in the past with Ash as their experienced (very) tutor of the incidents. 

Following the incident that ended up with Ace getting punched in the face, Zero had to make every NIGHTHAVEN operator study on the Spoken Rules and its related incidents to drill them on the importance of the team’s peace and stability among the operators.

But not before making them suffer from days worth of tiring beatdown training.

“Remember, the 4th of July fire should not be allowed to happen again if any of us is holding Maverick’s blowtorch, or any involvement with it,” Ash reminded “Any questions?”

“There is one, and it is related to this month of the year,” said Ace, looking at the handbook in question.

“Spill it,” said Ash. 

“So, can anyone tell me what this so-called Kinky Christmas Pageant is?” Ace asked, curious at the idea of a racy beauty pageant.

Everybody groaned in misery, especially among the veterans. A whole lot of embarrassing reactions were made throughout the room; some closed their faces in embarrassment, some immediately left the room in a scurry, some tried to hide or made themselves smaller than themselves.

Zero, who just came into the room with Kaid following behind, looked around in question before walking straight to the coffee machine.

“What?” Ace asked dumbly. “Is it that bad?”

“You don’t wanna know,” Montagne groaned, his voice muffled by his hands upon his face.

“Amuse me,” said Aruni, challenging her senior with an eyebrow raised.

“Your funeral,” Doc groaned and left the room, mumbling about unfinished paperwork and crazy adult-children.

“Gather up kiddies; cause we got a Christmas story as old as Hereford,” bellowed Smoke, clapping his hands before starting his tale.

“What’s up with an old base?” Aruni asked, still new to the idea of the importance of the Spoken Rules.

“Rookie, that ‘old base’ is where all of the first few pages of the bullshittery rules have originated,” said Sledge, letting himself fall upon the sofa lazily. “Especially Rule No 1,” to which everybody nodded in unison.

“Wonder what happened to that weird horse...” Rook mumbled in thought.

“No, I do not want to reminded about that fucking mad horse,” Thatcher hissed from afar.

“Well, like all of the bullshit ideas, it all started with a conversation in the cafeteria…”

\----------------------

**December 11th, 2016, 10 am**

_“This is not for holiday cheer. This is blackmail!” Pulse hissed._

_“Come on, live a little,” Bandit said, uncorking a bottle of champagne. “It’s Christmas, you only celebrate once a year.”_

_“As if the drinking game is not enough,” Thatcher scoffed from his position where he was leaning against the wall. “And put the bottle down, it’s 10 in the morning.”_

_“It’s 10 pm somewhere,” Bandit lazily replied as he continued to drink._

_“But not on December 11th,” Thatcher said, snatching the bottles from the German’s hands and putting it into the fridge._

_“Hey, it’s like that ice-breaking game; we get to know each other better,” Jager said, trying to help his friend._

_“But we didn’t wanna know EVERYONE’S sex life!!” Twitch groaned, trying to purge the idea out of her mind by taking out the bottle from the fridge and drinking it whole, causing Thatcher to squawk in protest._

_“So if we join this ‘kinky pageant’,” Valkyrie asked, still wary about it. “What do we get as a reward?”_

_“Bragging rights, the title of Kinky King and Queen, and a whole month of free rounds of beer,” Bandit replied. “And everyone has to pay for the winner’s expenses,” Jager added excitedly._

_Everybody in the room became silent, deeply pondering their thoughts together for a full minute until one of them spoke out their unanimous reply…_.

\---------------------

“And you all agreed to it?” Zero asked incredulously from his spot.

“Hey, it was just a small bit of fun. But we didn’t know how competitive everyone could be,” Smoke replied weakly.

\---------------------

**December 22nd, 2016, 9 pm**

_It was the dreaded party night of the century._

_To Bandit’s surprise (and glee), ALMOST EVERYBODY decided to show up. Emphasize the word ‘almost’ because Thatcher, Ash, Ying, Nomad, Echo, and Kaid flat out refused. Zofia, Hibana, and Blackbeard left for the holidays to spend time with their respective families._

_The guests are decked in the usual Christmas hats and cheer, but the additional accessories of leather, some in a subtle form of exposure while others went full BDSM Christmas gear. Some of them were so impressive that experts like Bandit were jealous._

_“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our first ever Kinky Christmas Pageant of 2016,” Bandit announced, and everybody cheered in unison._

_“For this competition, you will be judged on three categories; festivity, sex allure, and kinky. Each category will be judged by our lovely judges and the person who has the most points will be crowned the official Kinky King and Kinky Queen,” said Bandit._

_Said judges of the competition were Jager, Mira, and surprisingly Doc, whom the latter last minute decided not to participate in the event._

_“Everyone has to stand on this small stage and you will have to pose for the people and the judges to see,” said Jager. “You can place your bets on the bucket here with the name for your chosen winner and the participants can accept the money bills from the crowd,” he added. “For the second round would be both a performance and an elimination round. So if you wanna stay in the game, impress the judges and the crowd as much as you can. The final round would be based on both the performance, scores, and votes."_

_The competition began with the modeling round, where the participants one by one showed themselves to the judges._

_The party became heated when Dokkaebi played the next song, signaling for the next round. The judges begin to eliminate the participants following the performance round of the competition, with every 5 minutes a person either immediately gets eliminated or gets to move on to the final performance round._

_It was from 32 participants of the competition turned to 15 in the first round, and 15 who turned 10._

_The elimination process was brutal._

_That is until..._

_“Move over, and I will show you what a real winner is,” said a voice from behind, revealing to be Tachanka with his helmet. Said man was wearing a large red robe that covers his body. As the song of the Russian anthem slowly begins, he immediately lets the robe drop to the ground and outstretched his arms wide, and begins his pose._

_However to everyone’s dismay, but unsurprised to the other Russians, underneath all of that Tachanka was literally wearing nothing but a red bow wrapped around his erect cock. This caused the entire guest to scream out in surprise and horror upon their discovery._

_“OH MY GOD WHY ARE YOU BUTT NAKED!!?” Dokkaebi screeched in horror._

\---------------------

“Are you serious!!” Ace screamed in surprise.

“Yes, he did!!” Everybody exclaimed. 

\---------------------

_“Oh God!!” Thermite screamed as he tried to cover his sights from the scene. “I surrender! I surrender!”_

_“And we have a clear winner for the title of the Kinky King of 2016,” Bandit stammered in his speech, unable to look away from the other man’s ‘costume’._

_Everybody immediately gave way for the literal butt-naked man to walk his way to the front, where a gold-painted chair decorated in a makeshift throne. There, Bandit immediately crowned the Russian with a plastic crown similar to the original British Royal Crown and skedaddled his way for the other two operators, Jager and Blitz, to drape a red cape on his shoulders and present him a toy scepter._

_Once the two operators left, the victor gave a victory turn to face the crown and took his seat upon the throne._

_“Thank you, thank you, I couldn’t have done it without all of you my fellow competitors,” Tachanka cheered, waving his hand in victory. “But do refer to me as ‘Your Royal Highness the Kinky Lord Tachanka’ in the possible future,” he added._

_“Yes, but can you please cover yourself?” Jackal groaned from the floor._

_“Why, isn’t this costume the one that brought me to immediate victory?” he asked, spreading his legs wide as he leaned back to his seat, revealing his whole genitals to everyone in the room._

_“Yeah, but not everyone wants to see your dangling balls,” Fuze said, trying to look away. “Just fucking sit down properly will you!!?”_

\---------------------

“So it was obvious Aleksandr was the Kinky King, who is the Kinky Queen?” Ace asked as he recalled the story.

“Kinky Lord, you mean,” Tachanka corrected as he continued to drink his vodka.

“What he said,” Smoke replied, adding a whistle. “But the title of Kinky Queen, fuck that was a tight race!”

“And why is that?” Aruni asked, intrigued.

“Because we had the War of the Two Queens,” Twitch interrupted.

\---------------------

_“A Lord cannot be alone to rule without his dearest Queen,” Tachanka purred from his throne._

_“I believe that could be managed,” said a soft voice amid the crowd, and everybody immediately parted ways for them, revealing to be Rook._

_Rook was wearing what was supposed to be a red dress and a pair of kitten heels, but upon closer inspection, it was later revealed that the ‘dress’ is simply just a long wide ribbon wrapped around the younger French man’s body, left leg and right arm, with a small bow tied around his neck. Underneath all of the ribbons is a pair of red panties, with each side decorated with lace ribbons._

_“I believe that the crown belongs to…” said Rook, reaching for the plastic crown only to be interrupted by Ela._

_“Not so fast, bitch!” she said._

_Ela immediately threw her coat away to reveal her outfit for the night: a black bondage rope bound across her body. Like her competitor, she’s wearing a pair of red panties, but unlike the other, hers has a bit of white fur upon them. She has a leather garter belt on her right thigh that matches well with her combat boots. Upon her bare breasts, there are two heart-shaped bandaid tapes plastered upon her nipples._

_“I seek not to be the Lord’s consort,” Ela sneered.“I seek for the ultimate dominance the title brings, which will all be mine,” she added, pointing at her opponent._

_“That much power will make any sane person go blind,” Rook warned, gasping in worry and surprise. “But for that, I had to stop both you and the false king!”_

\---------------------

“I don’t think part really happened…” Rook suddenly interrupted.

“Shush, you’re missing the good part,” Smoke hushed the younger man.

“James, I was there and I literally never recall saying that,” Ela retorted, throwing a crumpled paper cup at the British man. “And why are you making that incident into a Game of Thrones fanfiction story?” 

“Alright, alright,” Smoke begrudgingly said, still grumbling angrily. “Even listeners are critics these days…” 

“And I think you confused that outfit with Jager’s, I wore a red nightgown, y’know like that cheesy 70s movie…”

Smoke went silent, thinking back at the thought. “Oh yeah...my bad,” he said sheepishly. “What really happened was…” 

\---------------------

_Rook never participated in the kinky pageant. At all._

_Doc instead immediately fireman carried the man out of the room the moment his outfit was revealed._

_The squabble was actually between Ela and Alibi over having the same idea, wearing a red nightgown. And it wasn’t even about the election of the title of Kinky Queen at all._

_“How dare you fucking copy me!!?” Ela yelled, pointing at the other lady in anger. Her scowling face is showing off the Bozak sister’s infamous rage._

_“No, you’re the one copying me!” Alibi yelled._

_“Lady fight! Lady fight!” Thermite yelled excitedly, raising both hands in the air._

_“Fuck you!”_

_“No, fuck you!”_

_“Ladies, this is ridiculous. Can we call this a tie and go home?” Kapkan whined, trying to keep the peace._

_“NO!!” They screamed and immediately sucker-punched the Russian man to the face, rendering him unconscious._

_“Hmm...the Lord is pleased and amused,” Tachanka hummed loudly._

_“Not helping here!!” Glaz growled angrily at his senior while dragging the unconscious man away from the angry women._

_The two ladies let out a unanimous war cry and began to wrestle one another, and that led to_

_“New rule: whoever wins this wrestling becomes the Kinky Queen!” Bandit yelled, and everybody immediately joined in and placed their bets. Somewhere in between, smaller fights have erupted from the ruckus, and Dokkaebi is getting more blackmail material in the party than before._

\---------------------

“And all of this happened before I came here!!?” Warden asked in surprise.

“Yep,” confirmed with a ‘pop’.

Warden turned to face Rook. “Doll, whatever you wore back then I tip my hat to you,” he said, nodding at the French man in respect, causing the said man to giggle and raised his champagne glass in response. 

“So who wins?”

\---------------------

_“Alright, that’s enough!!” Mira yelled as he stood up from her seat and jumped towards the two women, putting them on a chokehold on each of her arms. This action has caused a table to be broken in two and all of the smaller fights to cease immediately._

_Both Ela and Alibi tried to struggle against their captor, but because of Mira’s skills to wrestle against two women simultaneously, it was obvious who was the winner. Not for long, the two women slowly fell unconscious._

_“No more squabbles, no more useless competitions, and no more of this on a CHRISTMAS PARTY!” Mira yelled. “IF I SEE ONE MORE FIGHT, I’M KICKING YOU OUT IN THE SNOW, CAPICHE!!?_

_Everybody went silent, staring at the woman for a whole minute. The crowd then immediately went down to their knees and bowed like a worshipper to a deity. “We are not worthy!!” The whole crowd chanted in unison._

_“Ladies and gentlemen, I declare that Mira is the official Kinky Queen of the Kinky Christmas Beauty Pageant 2016!!!”_

_The crowd cheered, carrying the lady into their arms to the stage, where Bandit crowned her with the plastic tiara and a sash, who then guide her to sit on top of the bare lap of the Kinky King, showering the whole room with shiny confetti strings and balloons that for some reason, are in the shape of a cock._

\---------------------

“Even though it was a success, any attempts to make it an annual competition was immediately denied when the bosses came back from the holidays and reviewed the tapes,” “And it was also the beginning of the publication of the Spoken Rules handbook, I believe…”

“Man, with all of that bullshit happening I wish I was in the team earlier,” Mozzie moaned, eager with the idea of participating in the so-called pageant.

“Absolutely not,” Kaid warned, pointing a finger at the Australian. “Your name has already been in multiple pages of the list,” he said. And besides, that party was the stupidest party we had ever held.”

“For once, I agree,” said Zero. “I’ve never heard of a stupider party other than a crazy blood cult.”

“One last question but this is only for you two…” said Ace, his eye twinkling in curiosity. 

Both staff leaders eyed the man.

“Is it true that the two of you have met during an orgy party?” 

Both Zero and Kaid spit out their drinks. 

Those who were holding glasses dropped them, causing their drinks to spill and broken shards to fly on the floor. 

And everything else surrounding them became chaotic.

“Who told you this!!?” Both seniors screeched.

“What-you--n you!!?” Maestro stammered, surprised to the point that he fainted.

“I’m out bitches!!” Caveira yelled, horrified.

“Nonononononononono,” Vigil mumbled, following alongside her as he tried to deafen himself with his ears closed.

“You guys were exes?” Capitao asked dumbly. “I thought you two are still fucking with each other. But his words only made things worse.

But amidst all of that, one person is enjoying the sense of normalcy he has gotten used to and is oddly appreciating it.

“Ahh...this is nice,” Jager mumbled, taking a sip from his hot chocolate ignoring the chaos behind him as he stared at the night sky.


End file.
